


imagining you all day (as i wait)

by xinghunnie



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Crying, Fluff and Smut, I don’t even know, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-25
Updated: 2019-03-25
Packaged: 2019-12-07 13:53:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18235769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xinghunnie/pseuds/xinghunnie
Summary: minseok leaves baekhyun, but not really.





	imagining you all day (as i wait)

**Author's Note:**

> happy birthday to minseok here have this mess i wrote in my uni’s cafeteria waiting for the gym to open.

baekhyun still remembered that day, even if it was two years ago, it was seared to the back of his brain.

 

minseok had left him two years ago, and his chest still tightened up with pain every time he thought about him.

 

_“we need to stop this.” minseok had said, hands fidgeting on his lap, pretty eyes looking at baekhyun like it pained him. baekhyun’s own hands clenched, lips tight, body strung together so firmly he thought he wouldn’t be able to say anything._

 

 _“do you… not like me anymore?” his voice sounds disconnected, so soft and weak in comparison to how he usually is. he can’t stop staring at minseok, even though he_ needs _to look away._

 

_“no baekhyunnie, that’s… god. how could i ever stop?” he laughs, choked. he opens his mouth, but nothing comes out, and he ends up just shaking his head. his shoulders slump, and for a second, baekhyun feels like reaching out. touching him, comforting him, make whatever made him do this go away._

 

_“then why?” he asks instead, his body starting to shake. “did i do something? hyung, if i did, i’m sorry-”_

 

_“no, baekhyun, please don’t apologize.” finally, minseok reaches out, holds his trembling hands. baekhyun isn’t sure if there are tears in minseok’s eyes, or if it’s just his own tears blurring his vision. “i’m leaving to serve in less than a month. i’ll be gone for two years baekhyun… i can’t do that to you.”_

 

 _“do that to me?” his voice is wet, everything is shaking, and something in him hurts so bad baekhyun’s breath starts becoming ragged. “don’t do_ this _to me hyung, don’t just leave me. please, minseok, please.”_

 

_“but leaving you is what i will do. for two whole years baekhyun. what if…” his voice breaks, and finally, the tears start falling down his face. minseok is breaking his heart, but it feels outright crushed when he sees the tears flow down the delicate curve of his cheeks. “what if someone out there is better for you than me? what if someone could be loving you better, and you’re stuck with me? i want you to be happy. even… even if it’s not with me.”_

 

_“that isn’t fair.” he answers, words slurred because of his tears. “you can’t give me the happiest weeks of my life and then take it away!” he sobs, and even if his skin burns and the ache in his chest tells him not to, he throws himself at minseok, clinging to him._

 

minseok had whispered his apologies, caressed the skin marred with hot tears, kissed him tenderly until his body had stopped shaking. baekhyun felt embarrassed every time he remembers how desperate he felt at that moment, how willing he was to beg minseok to keep him, to love him longer.

 

he had gone to send minseok off, even if it made him feel like he was being ripped apart. they had held each other tight, the silence between them holding so many things, deafening. minseok has squeezed his hand, and left with the smallest, saddest smile baekhyun had ever seen on his pretty lips.

 

he visited him once, while minseok was serving, went with the rest of the guys to congratulate minseok on a whole year of his enlistment gone. baekhyun had smiled, but it felt plastic. he couldn’t look at minseok, and at the same time, _couldn’t stop staring._ minseok had given him that small, sad smile again, and it made baekhyun feel sick to his stomach. he wanted to leave. he couldn’t stand there and pretend his chest didn’t constrict every time he looked at minseok, couldn’t stand the tingling feeling under his skin that begged him to reach out and hold him close.

 

what minseok hadn’t known when he left baekhyun was that the time didn’t matter, not when he had loved minseok for so many years already.

 

now, waiting in this café, his leg incessantly jumping under the table, baekhyun panicked. he hadn’t seen minseok since that last time, had kept his distance, but minseok had been discharged a week ago and as soon as he was back home, baekhyun sent him a text.

 

he needed to know. he needed to know minseok didn’t love him anymore, only then could he move on.

 

how do you move past loving someone so much?

 

his chest aches every time he remembers the moments minseok held him close, burning skin against burning skin, kissed him with a smile stretching their lips, held his hand tenderly, all the times he whispered sweet nothings at him in the dark of his room, the rumpled bed sheets the only witness of the whispered promises.

 

when minseok walks in, his breathing gets stuck painfully in his chest.

 

he looks tanned and buff, muscles rippling under his button down shirt. his hair is black and cropped on the sides, but it looks soft and shiny, just like baekhyun remembers. his cheeks are just ass full, his eyes just as enchanting, and he’s just as handsome as he has always been. just as handsome as when baekhyun saw him across the university campus and decided _you. it’s you that i want._

 

minseok finds him and makes his way, guarded smile on place. it makes baekhyun feel sick.

 

“baekhyun-ah,” he says, setting himself slowly in front of baekhyun. his chest feels tight, and he’s not sure he’s even breathing. “it’s nice to see you.”

 

baekhyun’s mouth opens, but nothing comes out. shamefully, he realizes his eyes are starting to tear up. he missed his minseok hyung _so much,_ worried over him and his well-being for two long years. the relief mixes weirdly with the longing flooding his chest.

 

minseok’s smile turns nervous then.

 

“baekhyunnie, don’t cry, it’s okay. i’m okay.” he says, voice soft and patient. (like it’s always been.)

 

“i missed you.” is the first thing that leaves his mouth. it makes him flush in embarrassment, how in love and how weak he is, but he can’t find it in himself to care. minseok is _here._

 

“i missed you too…” minseok admits back, quietly, expression just slightly pained.

 

they lapse into tense silence then, baekhyun too busy trying to drink minseok in, and minseok doing the complete opposite.

 

“i got you coffee.” baekhyun says finally, awkwardly pushing the coffee towards minseok. his usual. minseok takes it gratefully, sighing in content after taking a sip. baekhyun, despite himself, can’t stop staring. he has been deprived of seeing him for so long, he feels like a starved man, devouring everything in front of him.

 

“so,” minseok says after setting his coffee down again, voice and smile uncomfortable. “how are you baekhyun? what did i miss?”

 

too much, and yet, nothing at all.

 

“i graduated hyung,” he answers, still staring. he can’t tell if minseok minds or not. “and i got a job. i teach a kindergarten class now, near my old apartment.”

 

for the first time in the evening, minseok smiles genuinely. his cheeks lift up, and his pretty eyes twinkle. baekhyun feels dizzy. “i’m so proud of you baekhyun!” he says, and sounds like it. “teaching babies how to be little terrors like you, i’m very proud baekhyun.” he teases, but still sounds genuine. it makes baekhyun smile too, small, a little strained.

 

“i got a dog, and a plant. i named it jongdae, because he gave it to me,” minseok listens intently, looking amused. “mongryong is a good corgi. reminds me of myself.” he shrugs. he feels awkward too, he realizes. “what about you hyung, how was the army?”

 

minseok shrugs, expression still neutral. “you know, the usual, the army’s the army. nothing more to it. i’m just glad to be back.”

 

“you won’t leave again, right?” he whispers, eyes downcast. minseok’s eyes widen, his mouth gaping in a small circle. “please don’t leave again hyung. i can’t do that twice.”

 

“baekhyun…”

 

“it’s okay if you don’t like me anymore hyung,” he goes on, lifting his eyes to meet the other’s staring at him now. “that’s okay. just… don’t leave again, for me, please?”

 

this is not what he had planned. he had planned to sound angry, strong. _do you still love me, you coward?_ instead he sounds small and defeated, pained, every sad, pathetic feeling inside him shining through.

 

“how could i not like you anymore, baekhyunnie?” minseok whispers back, sounding incredulous. “every sunny day reminded me of you. every time i laughed, i just remembered you made me laugh harder. how could i not love you still, baekhyun.” minseok smiles at him, small and fond, like he always did when baekhyun was being particularly dense.

 

“i’m so sorry,” minseok goes on, smile dropping suddenly. “i’m so sorry i left you like that, making it seem like i didn’t love you. i did, so much, like i still do. i’m sorry i hurt you, i thought…” he pauses then, eyes on the ceiling. baekhyun takes the pause as a chance to clean the tears spilling down his face again, out of happiness or sadness, he isn’t sure. “i thought i was tying you down, and you, baekhyun. god, you’re the most beautiful man, the best thing to happen to _anyone_. i couldn’t do that to you. tie you down to me.”

 

baekhyun glares at him now, suddenly annoyed. “don’t put yourself down,” he grumbles, glaring at minseok. it shocks him so much he suddenly sits up, eyes wide. “i fell for you for a reason, so don’t ever put yourself down.”

 

it makes him smile wide, soft, the type of smile that had made him feel lightheaded back then. it still does now.

  
  
  
  
  
  


as soon as they reach baekhyun’s apartment, he pushes minseok against the closed door, kisses him so hard their teeth clash painfully. his hands roam every inch of his body, from the wide, muscled shoulders down to the sturdy chest, up the toned arms holding him closer, to the firm stomach, feeling every ridge and groove of the  muscles. he moans when minseok’s hands go down to cup his ass cheeks, whines when he squeezes them together.

 

baekhyun truly is a starved man, and he’s coming to devour.

 

he pulls at minseok’s shirt and pants at the same time, stops his frantic kissing to stare at minseok fully. he had always been built and muscled, but the rigorous army training made it all more prominent. baekhyun wants to run his tongue against each muscle marking his abs.

 

minseok pulls him back in, hands going to baekhyun’s pants and pulling them down, underwear gone as well. his shirt is next, and as soon as his completely naked, minseok’s fists his cock tightly, a dry, torturously slow pull. it makes him moan loudly, mouth wide open.

 

“bedroom.” he manages to say between kisses, now him being crowded against the door, snuggly standing in between minseok’s strong arms. minseok nods distractedly, grabbing baekhyun’s legs, wrapping them around his waist and carrying him to the bedroom.

 

 _show off,_ he wants to tease, but he’s rubbing against minseok’s stomach while he leaves marks under his jaw, on his pulse, and suddenly the only thing coming out of his mouth is a litany of _minseok minseok minseok._

 

he’s placed on the bed softly, because minseok always treats him delicately, with love. “beautiful,” minseok whispers roughly, kissing the hollow of his collarbones. “so beautiful, love you so much baekhyun-ah.”

 

baekhyun feels like crying, suddenly overwhelmed with too many feelings. for so long, he missed the warmth of skin against his skin, the soft words in contrast to the sure hands that roamed his body. minseok always said the sweetest things, made baekhyun tremble, made him lose his composure. without warning, tears sprung from his eyes and fell down his cheeks.

 

“i love you,” minseok said, voice loud in the quiet room. “i will not leave you again.” he kissed his cheeks, cleaned his tears away with delicate fingers, held him closer and kissed him so hard baekhyun’s mind blanked out.

 

minseok opened him slowly, teasingly, crooking his fingers and mouthing at the head of his cock. baekhyun fisted his hair, _more, please minseok, fuck me._

 

by the time minseok pulled his fingers out and aligned himself, baekhyun was already halfway gone. minseok entered him slowly, the drag of it burning baekhyun. he didn’t want soft anymore. he needed minseok to fuck him senseless, left him boneless, and then a little more.

 

he canted his hips up, pushing minseok deeper, clenched when the hands around his hip and thigh grasped him so hard he hoped they would leave marks for him to see tomorrow.

 

“more,” he begged, voice heavy and wet from how good he felt. minseok nodded, burying his head into baekhyun’s neck as the snap of his hips quickened.

 

“like it baby?” he asked, biting hard when all baekhyun did was nod. “use your words love, or i’ll stop.”

 

at that he sobbed, shaking his head so fast it left him dizzy. “love it,” he hiccuped. “love it when you fuck me like this, i’m so close minseok.”

 

he feels minseok wrap his hand tightly around him, pulling him off at the same pace of his thrusts. “couldn’t stop thinking about you baekhyun, missed your mouth around my cock. i know how much you like being gagged.”

 

minseok’s words, his cock, his hands, everything is _too much_. baekhyun suddenly comes, spilling onto his tummy and minseok’s fist. he feels minseok thrust one, three times, buries himself deeply onto baekhyun and he can feel the warm liquid fill him up.

 

they lay there in silence, hands softly caressing each other until minseok can’t stand being dirty and gets up to clean up. baekhyun whines when his very comfortable pillow leaves him, but sighs in content once minseok returns, kissing his forehead softly and cleaning him up.

 

“i love you too.” he murmurs once they’re drifting up to sleep, smiling when minseok holds him closer, humming happily.

 

there’s still some things to talk about, feelings to smooth out, but they have tomorrow, and the day after, and the week, month, years to come. they will be okay.

**Author's Note:**

> me to my therapist: i keep writing baekhyun crying while having sex what does this mean 
> 
> im @punkluhan on twitter please validate me


End file.
